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Benard is very clear about the centrality of caring relationships in the educational process. "Reciprocal caring, respectful, and participatory relationships," she says, "are the critical determining factors in whether a student learns, whether parents become and stay involved in the school, whether a program or strategy is effective, whether an educational change is sustained, and, ultimately, whether a youth feels he or she has a place in this society" (Benard, 1995). Other writers provide support for Benard’s position. For example, in discussing the importance of relationships outside the family, Werner has repeatedly stated that her resilient children pointed to a favorite teacher who believed in them personally while skillfully teaching academic skills. The sine qua non of effective student-teacher relationships is for the teacher to reject the four myths described in the introduction to this paper: the Myths of Predetermination, Irreparable Damage, and Identity, and the Myth That, ‘Ultimately, It Doesn’t Matter’. Once the teacher has done this, he can utilize the strategies for making healthy connections set forth by Deiro (1996): creating one-to-one time with students, using appropriate self-disclosure, having high expectations of students that convey a belief in their capabilities, networking with parents, family members, friends, and neighbors of students, building a sense of community among students within the classroom, and utilizing rituals and traditions within the classroom. Underlying all these strategies, says Deiro, is the communication of dignity and respect through "a considerate tone of voice and receptive manner when speaking to and about students, ... taking time to listen to students and taking their concerns seriously," and conveying the message that "they trust students are doing the best they can, given their developmental level and life circumstances." No doubt most teachers would like to have this open, receptive, optimistic attitude, but to do so, their own resilience must be fostered. As Deiro says about teachers, "Maintaining their own mental health is critical to bringing out healthier levels of functioning in students." It is difficult to do this when teachers are asked not only to teach academic subjects but also to right the wrongs of society without adequate resources. However, the way the school is structured can help a great deal. In the words of Benard (Spring, 1998), "school-wide structure that fosters a sense of community and family within the school – that acknowledge nurturing, respectful, inviting relationships which in turn create a sense of belonging – are the keys to student growth and learning."
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